Goodbye, Hello.

This is probably going to be a tribute piece on my blog. You see, since 2017 is now over we also not only have to say goodbye to the year but Goodbye to some important people that sadly left us.

Know this, we are forever touched by your work from a small group of fans or many who are joyed even if they don't remember your name.

June Foray (99) Voice Actress and Actress. Mostly known for her work as Granny and Witch Hazel for Looney Tunes, Natasha and Rocky from Rocky and Bullwinkle, Grandma Fa in Mulan, and Magica De Spell of Ducktales.

Della Reese (86) Mostly known for her role in Touched by an Angel she was also a Jazz and Gospel Musician.

Robert Guillaume: (89) Actor popularly known as Rakifi from The Lion King but also was in the comedy series Soap and Benson. Had a brief role as the doctor who help in birthing Edward Bloom in Tim Burton's Big Fish.

Fats Domino (89) Jazz Musician and a pioneer of Rock and Roll Music

Ralphie May (45) Comedian who gained fame in Last Comic Standing and has success in the long run even having a special with Netflix.

Tom Petty (66) Musician and lead singer of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Gave us classics like Free Falling and Don't Do Me Like That. Even made guest appearances on King of the Hill.

Hugh Heffner: (91) Founder of Playboy Magazine and turned it into an empire of merchandise and boomed the Sex Sin Industry.

Harry Dean Stanton: (91) Character actor who has had many roles in films and tv shows both minor and major. Has collaborated with David Lynch for both Twin Peaks Series and his final appearance was in the dramedy Lucky about an old smoking Atheist in the last leagues of his life.

Troy Genrty: Half is Montgomery Gentry, a country duo mostly known for “My Town” and That’s Something to be Proud Of”. Tragically passed in a helicopter accident.

Peter Sallis (96) Mostly famous for voice that cheese loving inventor Wallace from Aardman's Wallce and Gromit series.

Charlie Murphy: (57) Commedian and brother to Eddie Murphy.

Masaya Nakamura: (91) The man who founded Namco and Pac Man. His help made Namco a popular arcade machine release.

John Hurt (77) Actor Known for being Mr. Ollivander in Harry Potter, being the guy with an alien stuck in his stomach in Alien, The Elephant Man in The Elephant Man, and controversial gay icon Quientin Crisp in two films. Oh and he was The Doctor in a Doctor Who special. Passed on at the very early beginning of the year.

Mary Tyler Moore (80) Feminist Icon and Leading Lady of The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

Joseph Wapner (91) Judge mostly famous for being the first judge of the popular The People's Court TV Show.

Robert Osboure (81) Film Historian who graced our TVs on Turner Classic Movies as he told us about great old films of yesteryear.

Sue Grafton (77) I have just heard of her passing and as a grand fan of the Mystery Genre, it saddens me to say she has just passed away. She is mostly known for her Alphabet Mysteries and it is sad to hear that now she won't complete it but its good to see she finished the Alphabet from A to Y. Z is for Zero was the last book that would've been her 26th book.

Chuck Berry (99) Famous Guitarist known for Johnny B. Goode.

Adam West: (88) Batman and Mayor Adam West as well as playing Campy and Exaggerated Versions of Himself, he was truly the best and comedic in his own right.

Roger Moore (89) He played spy and loyal member of the British Empire James Bond.

Don Rickles (90) Famous controversial commedian, insult comic, and yet a man with a heart of gold. Mostly famous to our childhoods in the 90's as being Mr. Potato Head in the Toy Story films.

Martin Landau (89) Actor who collaborated with Tim Burton for being Bela Lugosi in Ed Wood, Mr. Ryzkryspie in Frankenweenie, and Rollin Hand in Mission: Impossible the series.

Robert Hardy (91) Actor known mainly for being Minster of Magic Fudge in Harry Potter, But he has surprisingly held a strong history of acting in TV, Film, and Stage.

Jerry Lewis (90) Comedian of early Hollywood Films.

And this is to many of those who aren't on our list and to all those family members, friends and others who have passed away. Goodbye to you all. We remember the memories you have all gave us. And we should rejoice with a hello to a hopeful 2018.

Merry Christmas and Sorry

Merry Christmas.

Also, I want to apologize dearly for not following up with the 25 blogs of Christmas because of my work I did work with amazon this month and I'm hoping for more work soon and continuing to work with them past the days of peak season.

I hope you all enjoy your Christmas with everyone!

Day 10: My favorite Christmas Present

Sorry Darlings. Even more work has entered and made it a little difficult to keep up with the blog demand of my writings but at least I am working.


Now for Day 10:

My Favorite Christmas Present.

Well it should come that a long time ago, a little Marcos got a gift that would change his life. A gift that would put him into the echelons for the nerdy world coming. It was the Playstation 2.

This gift was one of the most pivotal gifts for me since I used it for many years. Unfortunately, I sold it due to peer pressure to get a PS3, A choice I would immediately regret later on. Especially since some PS2 games I owned were only available for PS2. But that kinda bleeds into the hidden gems games I talked about last month.

This was given to me by my Oma Eta for Christmas and she surprised me so much with it because the only console I had at the time was the Nintendo Gameboy Advance SP. So this was my first home console and my dad gave me his blockbuster copy (Can you believe that Blockbuster was a place?Especially where you would rent games and try to speed-run them so you could return it soon? I remember so does Pepperidge Farm. Pepperidge Farm remembers. Do you?) of Kingdom Hearts, one of the first Playstation games I ever owned.

I remember I had difficulty with getting out of Wonderland, and then with the Sneak Stealth of the Deep Jungle. And then it was (Spoiler alert but then again this game is over 15 old so you should know this.) Riku's boss fight that annoyed me. But yeah, that was the first gift and it pretty much solidified myself as a gamer especially since I mostly got into JRPGs primarily. It was the perfect gift for the weekend and I enjoyed it greatly and had a sweet collection of games that I personally enjoyed from Star Ocean 3, Super Bust a Move, Final Fantasy X, Devil May Cry among others.

So do you guys have a pivotal Christmas gift that changed your life?

Day 9: The Fruitcake Lady and Other Viral Videos for Christmas

Happy Hannukah Darlings! This is to all my Jewish Friends and Relations.

And I know we aren't talking about Hannukah but that's only because I know very little other than the basic story as how it came to be. So lets go on my favorite Christmas Viral videos.

The Fruitcake Lady (Christmas and Sex): SO I posted this earlier. But its a funny video listening to this 93 year old aunt of Truman Capote tell it like it is and answer pre-written questions but it was still funny listening to the answers. She did numerous Q and A's on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno for a bit before her passing and she was politically incorrect and hilarious for speaking the blunt, honest, truth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Z8K73Y2ODU&list=PLT-AMH5j_STidNbVyj3SdQ_BP2JNjmlGu

Wizards in Winter (The Holdman Family Christmas Lights Version) It's not Chrismtas without Trans-Siberian Orchestra, the Orchestral Rock Band. And this original piece is fun and captures a weirldy bewitching aspect of Christmas and people make thier Christmas lights dance to the music. Here's one version of it, Courtesy of the Holdman family.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFRduK3Txe0

John Lewis: Man on the Moon: Recently, these John Lewis Christmas Advertisements are making the Christmas season a little more magical every year with their wonderful, heartfelt, and imaginative shorts. This is from 2015 but this was the one where I started watching all the wonderful Christmas advertisements. This video beautifully captures multiple levels of people who want to connect to someone on Christmas, reaching out to the lonely elderly, and the ending is just so heartfelt you will cry. If not, you're denying it. And the fact you don't even know you're watching an advertisement also adds to how wonderful it is. Instead of showing products, they simply tell stories of people, the imagination, and the spirit of Christmas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuz2ILq4UeA

SNL's Schweaddy Balls: This SNL Classic was made just for the Christmas season. Alec Baldwin stars as Pete Schweddy and his delicious Schweaddy Balls. Just a delicious taste of Christmas treats and the hilarious aspect of the fact this is a radio show makes it even more hilarious with the implications some of the callers get and the laden innuendo on this skit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPpcfH_HHH8

Bacon Tree (Epic Meal Time): Due to the Bacon of this video, it could be too hot for you. But since these guys made a Bacon Christmas Tree, you atheists will believe there might be a God. (Ok not really but come on! A Bacon Christmas Tree is what I'm sure many of you wish for for Christmas.) We warn all vegetarians not to watch or you will relapse. You have been warned.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKb1IeovH60

Jimmy Kimmel, I gave my Kids Terrible Chrismtas Presents: Oh god. The disappointment on these kid's faces is so schadenfreudenistic but so delicious. It's terrible how we revel in the tragedy of their disappointment. But that fat kid need to be spanked. And Suprisingly, some of the kids are quite ok with it but still do some hilarious things with what they say and do. And the ending, well ... I don't want to spoil you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4a9CKgLprQ

Enjoy the Vids. Darlings! And we're about Halfway there!

Day 7 and Day 8: Christmas Panto and The Nutcracker

Day 7: Feliz Navidad Darlings! I'm happy to talk about the THEATRE once more. This time, we will be talking about Christmas Panto.

So let's go into definition and then go into all the performances. So Panto is short for Pantomine (a comedic play primarily for children and families to enjoy a presentational play with musical sing a long, slapstick, and the occasional pop culture jab. Also audience participation is a MUST!) and primarily is more enjoyed in England but America sometimes has Panto performances. For Example, Pasadena is doing an American Panto of Beauty and the Beast.

In fact many Panto Performances are mostly based on Fairy Tales. Snow White, Aladdin, Sleeping Beauty, Peter Pan, you get the picture. Now for some of the main aspects are pretty funny. First, your main male character is usually portrayed by a woman. (Many performances of Aladdin use this as well as a future trope I will talk about now. Also there is the Pantomime Dame, a man in drag usually who goes around being the "Queen" of the performance. (You have Widow Twankey from Aladdin, The Evil Queen of Snow White sometimes, and the Evil Witch of Sleeping Beauty are such examples. Remember, we can't do DISNEY STORIES BECAUSE THEY'LL SUE! DON'T THINK ABOUT IT!)  You got musical numbers, audiences cheering at heroes and booing at villains. Actors throwing things out to the audience. It's chaotic but funny.

There are some Panto performances on YouTube you can check out to understand the style and enjoy the performances.

Day 8: The Nutcracker.

No Christmas is ever complete without The Nutcracker Ballet made famous by Tchaikovsky. This two act performance follows Clara as she gets a gift from Uncle Drosselmeyer and goes on a magical journey with her reanimated Nutcracker and goes to a land of chocolate and sweets.

This Ballet has been the staple of Christmas stage entertainment for many years though its funny to hear that Tchaikovsky absolutely dislike this composition. And also some people have claimed that The Nutcracker is killing ballet as an art form due to mostly people visiting this performance other than other ballet performances.

But still, the story is full of the whimsy and wonder and the spectacle of the performance is what keeps it fresh for all people as well as being a good ballet to introduce people to ballet. In fact, my sister, brother and I went together as part of my sisters, girl scout troop to visit a live performance and I still have my nutcracker from that performance that we got as souvenirs. Truly a fun performance though I was suprisingly more invested than people have given me credit for at the time.

So Darlings, what are your favorite theater performances?

Days 5 and 6: AKA. Sorry for not posting

Day 5: Sorry Darlings, things and preparations for my new Amazon seasonal post got in the way. Now lets get going on.

For Day 5, let's talk about Christmas Specials. Did you know that many of our favorite Christmas specials and movies in recent years had a mixed reception with critics? The greatest dysfunctional Christmas story, A Christmas Story based on the book In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash by Actor, Humorist, and Writer Jean Shepherd who also narrated older Ralphie. However, when the film came out in the 80's, it was a commercial and critical failure. (In fact, I just read a pretty critical review from some nobody critic in the New York Times, claiming the film is not funny or when it tries to be funny, it fails. But we know that ain't true. We all love the film and its the same thing thanks to the revived interest. And now it's a part of Americana.

But there are couple of other films that were either moderate or failed with reception. Frank Capra's It's a Wonderful Life, the most influential of the Christmas films and it's Christian message, was a commercial failure and failed to bring up revenue. (I learned this from that clip of Adam Ruins Christmas but it is fun to listen to.) But thanks to being in the public domain, it was seen all over.

But there are many good Christmas specials I love too. Like Santa Clause is coming to Town and Mickey's Christmas Carol. Also, many of our favorite Christmas specials are all involved in animation. Peanut's Christmas, Rudolph, Little Drummer Boy, Prep and Landing, The Winnie the Pooh Christmas Special, etc. And yet we all love them. Even the full on films like Scrooged, The Nightmare Before Christmas (It's both Halloween and Christmas), Miracle on 34th Street, and Gremlins. Oh and even though I haven't seen it, Die Hard is a Christmas movie. In my definition of a Christmas movie, any film dealing with Christmas themes or during the Christmas season is a Christmas movie. I just want to get that out of the way.

Oh and to add on to Christmas related films and hopefully a later discussion of Christmas entertainment for the Theatrical Arts, Disney announced an adaptation of the famous Nutcracker story a little more closely related to the tale as written by German Writer E.T.A. Hoffmann. It's currently under the title, The Nutcracker and the Four Realms. So far Dame Helen Mirren, Kiera Knightly, Morgan Freeman, Jack Whitehall, Mackenzie Foy, Miranda Hart, and Ballerina Misty Copeland will all star. However, no one has been cast for the Mouse King Role as Morgan Freeman will play the magical Godfather Drosselmeyer and will not be released until next Year. But I still do want to see how Disney will adapt the tale since it is an important fairy tale from suprisingly, a non-fairy tale writer. (I bet you're wondering who E.T.A. Hoffmann is? He's quite interesting. Look up the basic Wikipedia and his collection of short stories simply titled The Tales of Hoffmann. Fun fact: His stories actually inspired an Opera also called The Tales of Hoffmann.)

Day 6, well, lets talk about the Christmas food. So how many of you like fruitcake? Well obviously no, you don't. But still how many people get a fruitcake and why is it that no one can make a good fruit cake. Does fruitcake get made in an alternate dimension where you think, fruit is good, cake is better, but fruitcake taste like crap? What the hell? Even, I think we need better fruitcake somehow. I just haven't found a good enough recipe.

Also, why does everyone hate eggnog? I once had a really good eggnog premade. It was the Costco Kirkland brand Eggnog Liqueur and it was quite tasty and smooth. In fact, Edgar Allan Poe loved a good eggnog. Maybe we just need to mix the eggs better or something. I mean we are  drinking raw eggs and I know for some of us, that's like "Aren't we supposed to cook eggs? We're not bodybuilders." And trust me darlings, I have no idea why some bodybuilders eat eggs raw. It's just that well, maybe some of our holiday stuff needs a better mix or something.

Ok. Looks like I might have discovered it. A Hot Cocktail called a Tom and Jerry (Not named for the cartoon Cat and Mouse but a play based on a book about two friends named Jerry Hawthorn Esq. and Corinthian Tom.) It's Eggnog, Brandy, and Rum with some sugar, a cinnamon stick, vanilla and nutmeg. Seems pretty good due to eggnog being whipped into cream.

And then there is gingerbread. Surprisingly tasty despite ginger being quite bitter. That cinnamon kick also adds the extra deliciousness. And the best of Christmas food traditions added on with the Gingerbread house designs. Can you believe we went from houses, to mansions, Hogwarts Castle and more. I mean Gingerbread is versatile in its worth. It's wonderful. And the creations are endless. Or pretty much to that point mostly, homes and men and women and some little pets.

Ok, what's another specific Christmas food? Well the U.K. has Christmas Pudding. Specifically, the outside tastes similar to gingerbread due to using the same ingredients and the inside is the pudding. (Think of this as a chocolate lava cake for Christmas.) On the inside, there is also raisins and dried fruit, Molasses, and suet which is a type of fat from meats like mutton or beef. The suet is made to hold the pudding together and also has an alcoholic variant which must be preserved for a month to give the full flavor.

Ok. That's it. Tomorrow, we'll talk about Christmas panto for day 7 and day 8 we'll talk about The Nutcracker and a little ballet history. Happy Christmas Darlings!

Day 4: This is too Hot for Radio!

So I know some of you saw that I posted one of my favorite Dysfunctional Christmas songs on FB Darlings. If you haven't seen it, ... just know it's a famous Lonely Island Song.

So with that, as much as I love the Classic tunes, I do love some more dysfunctional, raunchy, and often politically incorrect Christmas songs. So here are a couple of untraditional Christmas songs. And most are too Hot for Radio so you’ve been Warned.

The Lonely Jew on Christmas: There's gonna be a lot of South Park songs here so be prepared for the irreverance. South Park has been the poster child of political incorrectness but still manages to be funny and relevant due to making episodes during the week. This was part of a special episode dedicated to Christmas where South Park Characters sang Christmas songs. Kyle sings this number about how it kinda sucks being Jewish but then a helpful voice tells him there are things to look forward too on Christmas. Especially 8 presents, at least 1 per day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bmv7r1Hy-uU

This Christmas, Grandma Cooked the Dog: The least inappropriate of the Christmas songs, it gives me a good chuckle over any fears of any grandparents who have slight dementia and then cook your pets for Christmas Dinner. It turns out Chardonnay is the perfect wine for Cocker Spaniels.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-arTNuuLLto

Merry Freakin Christmas: Pop Rock band Frickin A sang this song I accidentally found. It perfectly describes someone who HATES Christmas to a T with annoying and dysfunctional relatives, secret affairs with your brother's wife, And sending shitty Christmas Presents back to Wal-Mart because you don't like them. DAMN! That's cold! But hey, It's a Crazy Christmas.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpw3PJ2orno

Dreidel Song: This is the South Park version of the song with Kyle's Family, Stan, and Cartman all singing their own lyrics. My favorite specific character's lyrics have to go to Kyle's dad because nothing he says actually pertains to singing about Dreidels. "Courtney Cox, I love you. You're so hot, on that show!" But trust me, when everyone sings about the Dreidel, it is funny how it weirdly comes together. P. S. I want to apologize to the Jews for Cartman.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1yKZI9RyXk

The 12 Pains of Christmas: No list of parody Christmas songs can be complete without something about the difficulties of Christmas. So we have the whole 12 days of Christmas with what makes the holiday frustrating. From Facing your in-laws, Christmas Cards, No Parking Spaces, Batteries not included and Finding the damn Tree, there are truly things that we wish were easier on us. Also, they don't always mention the problems but the issues that come with those problems too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nO2LW8H6M1w

Grandma got (Censored) at the Airport: Another parody of the Grandma Got Ran over by a reindeer song, this time Grandma had quite a ... well ... pleasing experience at the Airport when the TSA took some measures into their own hands. There's another version on Youtube as well but I listened to this one when I used to listen to The Bob and Tom Radio Show on 106.5 the Fox in the mornings in the High Desert. Sung by Comedian Dick Mango, he offers exactly what to expect from those ruffians at the TSA.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPAH6U-eFuU&list=PLR5Yxgz6dOyPhWkjbn_pt1l6cNSPQrxQ8

Merry F'ing Christmas: There are two versions of this song. One with Mr. Garrison oppressing everyone by telling them to stop their heathen asses from doing what they're doing to celebrate Jesus' birthday and even telling the Shintoists, that they are headed to Hell as Pagan Scum but hey, It's South Park. The second one comes from Denis Leary offering a pessimistic and jaded view on the Christmas season from Commercialism, Black Friday Hostility, Mall Santas and their Elves, and how even the streets shouldn't be trusted. Merry Christmas Fools!
South Park: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-2VszpHHY0
Denis Leary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LP4-7VQV42k

Holy Shit It's Christmas: Damn I thought it was Santa but it's another dumb unknown comedian, Red Peters. So here's a song parodying the Chipmunk Specials.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR3EiIO22GQ

The Most Offensive Song Ever: You have been warned. Anyone sensitive, Christian, Catholic, or anyone else should leave now! I mean It. This is the uncensored version because the censored version features Kenny Muffling the song but it's understandable what he might sing. But I guess I'll include it. But seriously, if it's too much, don't listen. But if you want to listen, It's your fault and I warned you.
Censored: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YTJMSiaG10
Uncensored: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvQBbra_o1Q

Are there any unChristmasy Christmas songs you Darlings love to listen to? Have a Merry Day!

Day 3: Fondest Christmas Memory

Well this one is another short one and I apologize for not posting this one earlier for you Darlings. But now, I’d like to tell you of a find Christmas memory.

When I was around 4 to 7 years old, for I’m unsure about how old I was, my family took me to a very elaborate Christmas Pageant. Sadly I don’t remember where it was but I know my aunt (before she decided to take her path of being an RN) performed a bit on stage and so did her ex-boyfriend at the time. So I think it was an amateur production they were a part of possibly. (I apologize but since my memory isn't that good, I'll have to ask.)

It was a stage musical with some audience interaction made primarily for children and families. (It wasn't a traditional pantomime per say [Sorry. A Panto is a Christmas Play that's primarily done in a presentational style for entertainment for the family. So the subjects are Fairy Tales, Popular Children's Stories, and once in a blue moon, original content. Usually, they are more popular in England rather than America but we do have some Family friendly plays going on at Christmastime.] but it had pretty good sets for an amateur production. Maybe it wasn't but I'm unsure as to which city performed it so there you go. It's not really professional to even come up with a story with very sketchy details but the thing I remember was at the climax of the play at the finale, all the kids got to go up on stage.

And I was the one chosen to be on Santa's Lap (Or I shoved my way. That detail is sketchy too but hey I got my spot in the limelight for just a small song from Jolly Old St. Nick himself as I was there with him. My Brother was also there. I think was either also on Santa's Lap or he was Mrs. Claus. (Why is Mrs. Claus never refereed to by her first name except in Santa Claus is Coming to Town? There are exceptions but this was the one clay-mation film that impacted my Christmases so there should be an explanation.)

Well, That's just a fond (if somewhat boggled) Memory I had during my Christmas holiday. What are some of your special moments on Christmas Darlings? Tell me. Have a nice Sunday!

Day 2: How I celebrate Christmas?

Oh boy. It's is as confusing as hell. Originally it was pretty simple.

I go visit my Grandma Daisy and Grandpa Steve on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Then after that I go home. Now that I get older, It seems like I have to schedule everyone in and worse of all, I have Amazon but they haven't given me my part time schedule and at least do a guy a favor guys. Please?

Well, Now I'm just waiting for things to happen but anyway here's what I did last year. So I visited my grandparents on Christmas Eve, and then I went back home in the High Desert if I recall. Then it was driving towards my Dad's for Christmas Morning then later to get down to Pasadena for Christmas afternoon and evening. 3 Christmases in less than 2 days.

And trust me, this year will be more hectic if I don't get info about my upcoming schedule. For Now I just got called for two Christmas Eve celebrations and I don't know If I'll even make it to both. My Grandma Christina and Grandpa Danny won't be coming down til after Christmas so it looks like Dad will be celebrating Christmas Eve, (I just hope I can do Morning). As for Christmas, It's probably going to be at my Aunt's house which will be the first Christmas without my grandparents living there. It'll be interesting to see how the new house layout works out because I haven't been inside yet.


Boy, it's gonna be a lot to do but it will be nice to see everyone from Grandma Daisy and Grandpa Steve's side of the family again.

How do you guys celebrate Christmas? Hopefully not as crazy as me Darlings! Well, have a happy Christmas Holiday and I'll post for you tomorrow!

Day 1: A Very Merry Christmas to you all and all the other Holidays.

So now it's time for all my hard work to pay off to try to save up the Christmas Spirit for the time being and now say MERRY CHRISTMAS DARLINGS! Also I want to include in a hilarious mention of our Non-Denominational Celebration of other Holidays too including the Religious ones. So let's look into some of the Holdiays you can celebrate too if you're too impatient for Christmas not coming yet or what other winter Holidays to look forward to. (PS. This is PG-13 for swearing like a sailor at some parts of this Post. But have fun!)

Hannukah: So we're gonna start with the popular, Hannukah. Basically, a bunch of Jews savaged the destroyed Temple of Solomon. With oil they thought would last for one day, lasted 8 to bring light and sight from the destruction. So thus Jews get 8 days of presents while we get one. It's not fair for you but deal with it. Also they have that song about Driedel and that's a fun gambling game I heard.

Yule: So here's the Pagan Holiday Yule, where your Yule Logs come from. Celebrated by the Getmanic people and tribe prior to the formation of the Holy Roman Empire, featured the decoration of trees and burning a Yule log for wishes which translated over to our Christmas when Albert gave Victoria Christmas trees on their Christmases as husband and wife. But anyway, this was a two month long holiday and current scholars decided front Julian to Gregorian that it’s from Late November to Early Janurary.

Saturnalia: Ah Saturnalia. This is the most pagan and most life affirming holiday of all. But it was filled with all sorts of debauchery. You got Crossdressers, open Homosexual and Heterosexual orgies, slaves are all free, rampant gambling abounded, lots of crazy stuff happened as it was more a bacchanal of desire and pleasure over actual religious devotion to Saturn and the early Christians hated it. Like they did not like Saturnalia and found it shaming. But well over time, they decided, if you beat them, join them (with a more chaste attitude). We Celebrate it on December 17th through December 23rd. (according to the Julian Calender, we wouldn't get Gregorian for over a millennia.)

Three Kings Day: So this minor Catholic Holiday celebrates Balthazar, Caspar, and Melchior, the 3 Kings/Wise Men who founded Baby Jesus. The holiday itself was traditionally celebrated on the 6th of January but Catholics usually celebrate the Sunday after January 1st. Primarily a tradition is to eat a special Cake in reverence to the 3 Kings. But for those of our friends living in Louisiana, you might know this day better as the Epiphany Day but also the begining of the Mardi Gras Season. Usually, Ephiphany celebrates 12th Night (Not the Shakespeare Play but I wouldn't doubt that's where the name might have came from since Christmas does have 12 days according to the Catholic calender.) So that's something to look forward to for religious, pagan, and secular reasons. (See this is educational and fun because you're gonna want to celebrate this stuff)

Krampusnacht: Celebrated on Dec. 6th, for those of your naught bratty children who don't behave, scare the shit out of them with Krampus. In fact, when I heard of Krampus, I think he needs to come back to haunt kids into being good when they keep being bad. Basically, if you watched the film Krampus or like me bothered to find out about mythological characters, Krampus is Santa's naughty version who beats the shit out of kids with the worst spankings of sticks wrapped together. If your kids don't want to be on his bad side, tell them to shape up. Also, it's kind of fun watching people dress up as him and scaring kids too.

Pancha Ganapati: This is a Hindu holiday that is their most recent holiday in accordance with American Culture so it mixes the holidays to have a feast time for the God Ganesha. For refreshment, Ganesha is the 4 armed elephant god, son of the god of Destruction Shiva and his wife Parvati. He also loves sweets and can be seen as a symbol of gluttony and purging for one of his famous stories comes from how he befriends a mouse who strays him away from temptation.

Chinese New Year: It's gonna be Year of the DOG BITCHES! IT'S MY YEAR! WOOOOF! Ok. Ok. Enough Showboating. So to make a long story short, 12 animals went to see the emperor and they all got years on a zodiac. (The Cat didn't get one because he's a dick and tried to trick the other animals. At least in one version.) So I'm just gonna list some facts about the Year of the Dog. It's gonna be for the Earth Dogs year, and begins February 18th so it's way past Christmas but it's still winter so we're counting it. Lucky colors are Red, Purple, and Green. Lucky Numbers are 3, 4, and 9. Also, I'm a Yang of the Yin/Yang dualism of Taoist culture. But yeah it's just fun to look at. Ok. On to the next holiday.

Advent: When I was Catholic, I celebrated every year of Advent and the Holiday is primarily the waiting for Christmas but the most important aspect of this holiday are the Sundays (no surprise there) and our Advent Wreath had 4 candles in it for the 4 Sundays before Christmas. 3 are purple and I forgot the significance of the pink one but it's lit on the 3rd Sunday as some important transition. Hold on a minute. (Looks up things) Oh apparently, it's the joy of waiting for Jesus' birth. You learn something new every day. Generally we celebrate on December 1st unless the Catholic Church decrees differently.

Festivus: It's gonna BE A FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US! Hahaha. Thank you Seinfeld for the stupid traditions of not ending until we wrestle for the end of the festival and the minimalistic parody of the Festivus Pole in tribute to the May Pole and other pagan/religious holidays with poles. Don't forget the Airing of Grievances where we openly bitch about how we hate certain people for things and get the FUCK over with it. And then we wrestle the man of the house to celebrate the end of Festivus. (Better hope he's weak or you're never getting that new XBOX Charlie) We celebrate this minimalist, Anti-commercial holiday on December 23rd.

Ok. Thad’s some of the holidays you can also celebrate if Christmas ain’t enough. Now go get stuck off your ass and celebrate!